You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
