Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize