I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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