if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
In America we eat man semen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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