Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
