She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize