Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I believe in your delicious
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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