the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
