I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
