Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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