go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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