I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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