At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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