we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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