You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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