and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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