..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
