I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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