When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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