Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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