your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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