nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am one with the molecules
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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