I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
