I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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