Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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