he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
