bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
