Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
