This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
