if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My balls are so social today.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
