Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
