Porn is love you can see.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
