I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
