I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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