Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize