Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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