Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
