Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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