I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
