his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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