I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize