i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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