another moral hangover. fuck.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I understand Curling. That high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
