i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
