Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize