what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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