I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
