Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
