You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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