I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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