we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
