yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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