The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
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u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
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I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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