Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
