U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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