everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
