you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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