I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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